Nanny State

 EXAMPLES of how we have all become victims of the Nanny State are legion and I’ve come across a few more champions of corporate stupidity.

A national supermarket was up there with the best, printing this caution on its peanuts – “Warning: contains nuts” – while more ink was wasted by a certain chemist warning on their children’s cough medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine”!

Another High Street outlet also offered useful advice on their bread pudding that “Product will be hot after heating” while who could argue with another national concern which warned on its hair dryer packaging “Do not use while sleeping”.

Equally useful was the advice from a national company selling irons “Do not iron clothes on body”….presumably because you will crease up with laughter.

Other gems included a national sleep aid which alerted “Warning: May cause drowsiness” and Christmas lights which stressed they were for indoor or outdoor use only!

International corporate brains would also appear to need oiling with advice on a Japanese food processor cautioning “Not to be used for the other use” while an American airline helped passengers enjoy their packet of nuts by advising “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts”!

It was almost a given that a child’s Superman costume should caution “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”, but my personal favourite piece of advice is this.

It was on a Swedish chainsaw and it read: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals”!

Just thinking about it makes me wince but surely someone somewhere should have given it the once over before going public with such glaringly obvious gaffes.

There have been a few local efforts, one I saw repeated several times being “Closed because of snow”, a landscape carpeted in white apparently not being enough of a giveaway.

Other rib-ticklers I have found include “Caution: Water on road during rain” or “Illiterate? Write for free help” and how about, “Soccer not allowed. Soccer may only be played on the archery range.”

Other gems include “Do not enter: Entrance only” and, believe it or not, “Sign not in use”.

If I come across any more I’ll let you know.


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