A TRIANGULAR oatcake is at the centre of the latest gaffe by officialdom.

It seems that a school in Essex has banned its dinner ladies from baking them.

The sledgehammer-to-crack-a-nut reaction came after a pupil suffered a “sore eye” when a fellow pupil threw one of the three-cornered “weapons” at him.

If the reaction was in the best British traditions of being bizarre then what happened next was guaranteed to put the school in an unwelcome national spotlight.

Its overkill actions were compounded by issuing another order to its dinner ladies that from now on they were only to bake square or rectangular snacks!

This prompted me to cast the net a little further afield and see what other mind boggling measures I could come up with. It didn’t take long to find some.

First in line came Butlins which in the past has been guilty of taking safety concerns too far at several of its parks where they ordered dodgem cars to stop bumping into each other.

More soaring stupidity came courtesy of a Yorkshire tourist beach where safety concerns prompted a ban on kite flying.

My favourite involves a ban on pins being used for commemorative poppies while a close second came one school’s ban on those nasty, dangerous things footballs….unless they were made of sponge!

Schools do seem to be involved in quite a few of these ludicrous ultimatums and another school acted swiftly to ban the danger posed by sack races at a school sports day.

Not so long ago my son successfully graduated from his degree and appeared in one scenario where he and his fellow students posed for a photograph before celebrating by throwing their mortar boards into the air.

Such high-spirited actions were actually banned at another university, fearful that the falling headgear might hit someone and injure them.

The next incident almost defies belief when a pensioner who had been suffering from breathing problems was passed fit to go home from hospital. Well, she’d been passed fit by medical experts but they had apparently neglected to scheme the hospital transport department into their medical debate.

Transport bosses promptly halted the entire process of getting the poor pensioner home, voicing and then debating their concerns over whether or not it was safe for her to go because she had a four-inch step at her front door.

My final incident has all the ingredients of a television farce which is just as well as it illustrated one of the less than glittering incidents of BBC baloney.

Apparently a seasoned Tom Jones impersonator was due to appear at the BBC, a man well versed in how his act often drew extreme reactions from watching women.

Many of them would scream and throw their knickers at him on to the stage while shouting endearments but he had so far taken it all in his stride.

However, it was his stride that was worrying BBC bosses who were concerned that he might fall over knickers thrown by his supporters in their studio.

So the BBC ruled that while supporters could show their appreciation they could only wave their pants in the air not throw them!



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