SO we now have a new Royal baby, third in line to the throne and already a multi-million pound eggcup and bib industry in his own right.
This boost to the nation’s economy provided by the new third in line to the throne cannot be underestimated….apart from the truckloads of pink accessories for a girl which are now on their way to the rubbish tip.
There was an avalanche of congratulations once the news was displayed at the gates of Buckingham Palace with everyone from the British Prime Minister David Cameron and the US President Barack Obama down to people in Kate’s home village keen to get their “Good lucks” in.
There were a few winces at the baby’s weight – 8lbs plus – which is quite big for a first baby unless you happen to mention this within the hearing of any woman.
Do that and you’re bound to be regaled with horror stories of 11lb monsters, a labour lasting three days and comments such as: “There were no Press conferences for me….and the old man was down the pub when little Chelsea Marigold arrived. Drunken beast!”
There is already talk of what the baby might be called and Alexander seems to be one of the favourites with the bookies.
At least he won’t be short of a roof over his head and he’ll need it if he goes to live initially on Anglesey where Prince William is stationed because it gets a staggering 1,360mm of rain or more than 54 inches per year. That could play havoc with drying nappies.
All that is still some time ahead and the nation is much more concerned with rubbing its eyes, dazzled by the barrage of flash photography created by a national Press feeding frenzy when William and Kate walked out of hospital holding the coyly named “Baby Cambridge”.
Photographers stacked ten high used everything from Nikon’s finest to a Box Brownie to try and capture what commentators gushingly referred to as “probably the most important picture of their lives”.
Get real! Photographing a baby – even a Royal baby – comes a pretty poor second to capturing real hard news events from crashes to terrorism.
The only reason every single photographer was forced to put in an appearance is because their News Editors ordered them there. Some, believe it or not, had been outside the hospital for three weeks! How did they cope with calls of Nature?!
Interest in the Royal baby is massive but it is fuelled by national papers which, having started the fire, need to find more material to keep it well stoked.
And it’s not over yet, not by a long chalk.
After front pages dominated by tiny fingers clutching the air above a baby shawl we can look forward to news of the baby’s name, which member of staff won the Buckingham Palace sweepstake and the ninth consecutive evening party at Kate’s village pub to celebrate that. There can’t be too many villagers there left who don’t have a hangover.
And as the Royal rollercoaster gathers pace we are bound to see a descent into the nitty gritty with perhaps a lurid tabloid picture exclusive of the first nappy contents or similar.
The only safe way to sanity is to quietly acknowledge the monarchy moment and move on as swiftly as possible. After all, we now all have the second baby to look forward to, don’t we?